Poland

On the north-east Poland is the land full of lakes, forests, rivers and meadows. this place is called "Mazury". I was there once on canoeing camp. It was amazing, completely different than theese industrial view. Also we have access to the Baltic Sea on North. Lots of wild beaches, rocky cliffs and also forests. And the last places full of nature in Poland are mountain ranges, mainly in southern Poland. Mountains like Sudety or Karpaty are most popular.
Uh, i've never thought that I love so many places in Poland ;)

Congrats to ME

It is painful but also beautiful. Like I wrote last time : I worked my problems off. Well, officially now : I GRADUATED THE HIGHSCHOOL. I'm really proud of myself. I made this despite of averything and everybody around me what had been distracting me. Goodbye highschool, welcome The School Of Arts, the faculty of photography. Thank you for not reading this and goodnight to nobody.

Is a house really a home when your loved ones are gone

I really do like this place. I like the trees and the alleys. I like people, all of them. Even the bad ones. I do like whe atmosphere in this place. Despite the fact, that this atmosphere is not the good one. I never thought that I'll be living in here again. But here i am. I'm almost nineteen, smoking cigarette by the window and loving new me more than ever. Maby it's just another beginning with short vadility. I don't care because I have hope. A lot of hope and dreams, I am stronger than last time. I can feel the changes. Not only in me. Also in my mother and my father, in my friends and people that I'm passing on the street every morning. My house is a home even if my father is not love me like he should love his daughter. We don't talk again. I'm alone but happy this time. My mother is better. She is trying to stay sober. She is doing it pretty well. I know that i can't change past but i will change future. I will use all my power to make my life better. I'm going to school again. I have problems with teachers and past absence but i'll work it out. I know that. I am going to believe in me. This is the way to winning

It's gotta get GOOD before it's get BAD

I always thought thai i will be shameless, reckless, blameless and insensitive. When i was younger i promised to myself that i'll never cry. That i wont be like my mother. That i will be strong and irresistible. I thought that it is easy.
Last time when i bloged i wrote that it's gettin better. It used to be. Maby for few days. Now is horrible. I'm on the bottom. My mother is even lower. Her husband fundamentally don't exist and my father is having fun because of that. My mom starded to drink again. Tomorrow is her 47th birthday and i called her today to set up meeting for tomorrow. Nobody answered. Later i called her husband. He told me "mommy is drunk and i can't distract because there is a party". What a duschbag! He knows that i hate when my mother is drunk. When i was talking with him i was in chemist's shop. I ran away with tears in my eyes. I can't stand it anymore. I know that what i'll say will be cruel, but i wish thay he will die soon, if not, my mother will die first. And that is not perspective which i've been looking for. There is also third option. I can kill myself and finally cut myself from it. But it is not that easy. Not easy at all.