I thought that it wont be worst. But it is. And what is beautiful about this? I'm still happy. Despite of debt, troubles, family issues and tears. Lots of tears. They are everywhere and everlasting. I think they're my friends now. With them problems leaving me and my mind. I read somewhere that human can be truly sad for few minutes, but later is only mental pain. I feel real sad all the time so that's mean that i also feel mental pain always. It should be overwhelming, but it is not. When i feel anythink i am sure that i'm still alive.
Anyway.
I just wanna a little break. There is just month to winter school break, but it's still to long. I want few minutes without worries about tomorrow, about yesterday and today also. I can't find paradise in dashy life. I hope that someday i'll get my own mental heaven and then i'll be most organizer man in the wholewide world.
goodnight to myself because nobody reading this.
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